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I did it. Eric's toothbrush. I tossed it.
I debated whether to post something so personal on my blog. There is a lot of healing power in practicing vulnerability. In putting yourself "out there." In sharing.
I was an opportunist. I knew I would be spending time with friends tonight. I would have good company. It would be safe for me to do the inevitable. Right before I left the house, I threw away the toothbrush. Then I took the garbage to the curb. I never looked back. I don't feel sad or bad, but I do not feel it was an accomplishment. I feel positive about the timing, and that's plenty.
I did it ahead of my schedule. Way ahead of schedule. For that, I'll give myself a pat on the back.
Well done, Daisy.
Life is full of small steps that, at a glance, don't look like major accomplishments - but truly major accomplishments are made of these small steps. Somehow when I saw the picture of the toothbrush I knew immediately what you'd done. You are strong and lovely and very wise.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment, Linda. The feeling is so complex. I know it is a very positive step forward, but I don't want to claim victory of any kind. The act itself just didn't feel pleasant, no matter how necessary and important it was. It's like having a root canal, or a colonoscopy, I guess... Unpleasant, yet important. How's that for a metaphore.
DeleteThank you for your love and support, Linda. I love that you keep reading my blog. It is very helpful for my grieving.