Obvious Solution to Everything: Cake

Whether I want to celebrate my birthday or not this year, she is creeping up with silent vengeance in less than 72 hours, making me tense.  My birthday creeps up like some unwelcome distant relatives stealing toilet paper from my closet.  

I just used an analogy that made absolutely no sense. I meant I wanted to avoid my birthday like a plaque. 

Don't be sad.  Eric would have wanted you to be the star of the day.  To look pretty.  To be pampered by many.  It is one of your favorite days.  And, he would want you to have as many slices of cake as you wish.  You love cake. 

To do what Eric would have wanted me to do is good; to honor what I truly wanted is better.  It is an age old lesson to honor self-awareness.  It is MY birthday.  MY favorite day of the year.  I want to be the star of the day.  I want to look pretty.  I want to be pampered by many.  And I want to have cake.  I love cake.  I am very aware that this is looking very Me Me Me and My My My...  So? 

To live a "new normal" means to truly LIVE - not just getting through - all those favorite moments despite the absence of Eric, while keeping him in my heart and my head.  It makes me cry, not of sadness.  A complex feeling unexplainable by words.  Much more complex than the simple "moving on."  Adding a new normal moment is adding more to life.  MY life.  It is to live life the best way I know how.  

I shall have cake on my birthday.  I shall share cake with you.  I shall add a new normal to my favorite day of the year, to honor Eric's life.  And his love.  Our love has no bounds.  

I cry as I finish typing this.  I can taste my cake.