I stare at the blank screen, wanting to say something, yet unable to write anything. The cooler temperature for the past couple of days gave me a chilling feeling that autumn is near, even though it's barely mid-July. I am not looking forward to the end of daylight savings; the return of darkness. I am not looking forward to the cold or the rain. None of them ever bothered me before. It's a little different now.
People are moving on. They have new lives to live. So must I, but I move on at snail pace. The dreadful July 15th fast approaches. Here I am, telling myself it's just a date on the calendar with no significant meanings unless I give it significant meanings. In reality, I already gave it plenty significance by reminding myself it is the 15th. I shake my head with disbelief.
July 15th. It is finally beginning to feel like a nightmare. Pity, this is not a nightmare. I don't get to wake up from it. I own the nightmare now. It's all mine.
Damn! That's no good.
People have moved on. And have new lives to live. Me? I want to simply dissolve. I want to close my eyes and completely dissolve. Like sugar in hot water. Into liquid.
I can't believe you haven't held my hands for five months. I am a little mad about that. I have as yet to embrace the 15th, but I suppose I can always try it next month. There's August 15.
No comments:
Post a Comment